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About Houston

Duuuude, sexual-massage is wild, right? Like, whoa, hands everywhere, rubbin’ and stuff! I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’—is oil, like, an instrument? Y’know, slippery, slidy, makes ya go “WHEEEE!” Watched “The Lives of Others” again—so good, man! That movie’s all sneaky, quiet vibes, and I’m over here wonderin’—does a sexual-massage got spies too? Like, “Are you listening?” Hahaha, imagine that, some dude hidin’ in the corner watchin’ ya get oiled up!

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Now, lemme tell ya, don't get me started on the quirks – there’s this little alley off Maple, hidden, with a mural that changes every damn month. I once got caught in a sudden downpour there and ended up dancin’ in the rain, laughing like a crazy f***er. And man, the locals? They’re a bunch of wild, spirited characters. One day, on my way to a client, I passed by a garage sale on Cypress Ln, where some old dog was barkin’ orders like he ran the joint. I swear, that dog had more attitude than half the damn city.

Ridge Island Grove is 'what Florida used to be like'