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Me, I’d suck at it—limp’s a buzzkill, and I’d diagnose their STDs mid-thrust. “Congrats, you’ve got chlamydia!” Romantic, right? Sarcasm’s my foreplay. Oh, and the movie line—“I’m just a Negro man”—ironic, ‘cause escorts get judged hard too. Society’s all “eww, dirty,” but half those prudes are dialin’ ‘em up at 2 a.m. Everybody lies, even to themselves.

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Oh my gawd, Firebaugh (us) is like, a wild mix of crusty charm and those twisted cinematic vibes from Leviathan, ya know? Listen up, lemme spill some tea about this quirky town! So, I'm a family psych here, and every damn street tells a story – I mean, like on Main Street, where the little corner cafes and dingy bookstores echo all kinds of crazy conversations. Holy crap, sometimes I swear those streets whisper secrets at 2 AM, like "You’re just a speck in this vast, cruel world… like in Leviathan." Wild, right?

Children First: Firebaugh High School's FFA program