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Humor me here, tho. Imagine findin’ a prostitute and she’s like, “Sorry, I’m on break, gotta finish my crossword puzzle!” Or worse, she charges by the minute and you’re fumblin’ with your wallet like, “Wait, wait, gimme a sec!” Sarcasm, sure, but it’s kinda true, ain’t it?

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Ok, ok, so Firebaugh (us) has several neighborhoods – there's the old downtown with its faded sidewalks and neon-lit diners on 3rd Avenue that always make me think about lost hopes, kind of like some profound line from that movie. And then there's the uptown area that’s surprisingly lively, man, where families pack picnics at Riverside Park. Riverside Park? Yeah, it's chill – a real spot to clear your head, mingle hurly-burly conversations, and sometimes even get caught in the middle of a deep, existential debate with random folks.

Firebaugh’s Josh Allen wins NFL MVP