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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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Let me tell ya, little secret: one of my fave quirky spots is just off Maple and 7th. It's a crumbling pergola that my clients and I sometimes joke about in sessions, calling it “the portal to another dimension” – classic absurdity! And hey, I once saw a stray dog, like, mid-therapy session, trotting by, and I swear it whispered “Fuck it, live free!” (okay, not literally, but kinda felt that vibe, ya know?)

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