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Love the chaos of it, tho—messy, raw, real. Like *Tropical Malady*’s weird-ass love story—half the time you’re lost, half the time you’re horny. Sex-dating’s the same—swipe, chat, bang, repeat. Ever tried it in Bangkok? Mate, the humidity alone’ll shag ya senseless—true story, nearly passed out mid-thrust. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss?

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I remember one time, oh man, so mad! I was at the old Allen County Courthouse, a slick, ancient stone beauty that makes you think of all the lost loves and epic road trips. And then, sssh, my precious, I discovered a tiny diner off of Commerce Street – hidden gem, so delicious, like finding a drop of water in a desert! I couldn't believe it, like, is this real? So many typos in my head and feelings everywhere, ya know?

Findlay's outdoor warning sirens fixed; treat sounding as an emergency