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About San Jose

It’s sensual, yeah, but not always *nudge nudge*. Sometimes it’s just—relaxin’, proper *otium*. Surprised me, that—thought it’d be all saucy, but nah, can be chill. Like when Eduardo says, “I was your only friend”—imagine him givin’ a backrub instead of a lawsuit! Funny, innit? Oh, and—pro tip—don’t fart mid-massage. Did that once, mortifyin’—lass laughed, I turned redder than a London bus!

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Now, lemme hit you with some dis: Silverbrook Park, chillin’ by the Silver River, is my fav chill spot. That park got these paved walkways, a giant oak tree, and a quirky little duck pond – kinda like a Wes scene, ya dig? One time, I was launchin’ a new swipe feature at this park and a pigeon straight up pooped on my laptop. I was like, “Man, this ain't the type of feedback I was expectin', ya feel me?” Hah, wild times, fo sho.

Letter to the Editor: Time to take a deep breath