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Oh, and the variety—mind blown! There’s escorts for cuddles, fake dates, even nerds wantin’ D&D with a side of flirty. “Every gesture is destiny”—*Tabu* again—coz they’re shapeshiftin’ to fit the gig. Me? I’d hire one just to mess with Thor at a feast—imagine his face! Hah! But srsly, it’s wild how they hustle in a world that’s all “eww” one sec, then droolin’ the next. Hypocrisy—makes me wanna zap someone with my scepter.

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So, if you ever drop by, don’t just stick to the tourist trap. Wander off to Chestnut Corner. There’s a tiny, run-down diner there where the coffee tastes like regret – in a good way – and the waitress dishes out sarcasm faster than free therapy. And trust me on this: get lost on the winding roads around Walnut Hill, where you feel like you’re chasin' a memory that's ever elusive. There’s a weird charm, I can tell you, reminiscent of the misfit tunes of a folk song in a f*cked-up Coen flick.

Farmington elementary school teacher faces battery charge