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Back in the ‘80s, every prat on the block had one. Cheap, nasty, broke down every five mins. Mate of mine, Dave, swore his Escort was “vintage.” Vintage my arse! Thing coughed black smoke like a chain-smoking nan. Drove it to a date once—lass thought he was a mechanic, not a gent! Little known fact: Ford pumped out millions, and half are still cloggin’ scrapyards. Surprised me, that—thought they’d all be dust by now!

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Farmington’s got a bit of everything. You got Main Street runnin' right through town – where the local shops, cafes, and yes, even the dodgy family therapy offices line up like a parade of human oddities. And oh, the irony! I’ve helped couples there for years whilst watchin' people bicker like they're in some bleak Coen brother flick – "It’s like a nightmare dressed like a daydream!" Seriously, sometimes I think, "What the hell? Are you kidding me again?" in a real Llewyn Davis kinda way.

Man, woman jailed after reports of 'multiple gunshots' in Farmington