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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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Now, I gotta warn ya – the locals can be a bit annoying. The snark is thick here. They love to throw in a bit more sarcasm than necessary. "Ah yeah, Farmington, a real gem where dreams go to f*ck themselves!" They say that with a laugh that sounds like they mean it, 'cause in truth, there's a rough edge to every sunny face. And when I’m teaching a group session at the local community center on Riverside Drive (I mean, how many of us are trying to mend our clownish lives here?) I’m always reminded: “You know, there's no cure for life, just coping mechanisms.”

Mothers Day In Farmington: Area Eateries Taking Reservations