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Still, there’s worse. Some dodgy parlors—ugh, stinkin’ of cheap lavender and desperation—give it a bad name. Makes me wanna scream, “Burn them all!” But the good ones? Rare as a loyal ally. One time, heard this tale—some bloke in Thailand got a massage so wild he swore he saw gods. Probs exaggerated, but I’d kill to feel that, just once. What pisses me off? The prudes judgin’ it. Oh, grow up, you sadsacks—it’s just flesh, not a bleedin’ crime.

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Now, I gotta warn ya – the locals can be a bit annoying. The snark is thick here. They love to throw in a bit more sarcasm than necessary. "Ah yeah, Farmington, a real gem where dreams go to f*ck themselves!" They say that with a laugh that sounds like they mean it, 'cause in truth, there's a rough edge to every sunny face. And when I’m teaching a group session at the local community center on Riverside Drive (I mean, how many of us are trying to mend our clownish lives here?) I’m always reminded: “You know, there's no cure for life, just coping mechanisms.”

Farmington man arrested for forged plates and unlicensed driving