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Say hello to my little friend! Escort, man, it’s a trip! I’m talkin’ cars here, not dames—get your head outta the gutter, chico! Like, you ever think ‘bout how these escort cars roll? Back in the day, Ford Escort, that little beast, ruled the streets. Not some fancy-ass ride, but it had guts! Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*—simple, scrappy, but fulla heart. “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re doing”—that’s me to every dude who souped up an Escort thinkin’ he’s king shit!

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Now, the neighborhoods, oh, they’re such a motley crew. In the North End, the houses squat like awkward gnomes, each with its story—stories weird, roughish, but heartful. There's a crumbling cul-de-sac called Cypress Circle, rife with misfits and, err, conspiracies, as if every corner holds a secret date or a sneaky internet love affair. Heh, secrets aplenty, yes, yes.

Rory McIlroy's post-Masters win confidence on full display during Jimmy Fallon challenge