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Real talk, tho—this one time, I matched this chick, profile all classy, but she sends me a PDF—straight-up *menu* of what she’s into. I’m talkin’ kinks listed like it’s a damn restaurant. Had me dyin’, like, “Is this allowed?” Little-known fact: sex-dating apps got secret codes. “420 friendly” ain’t just weed—it’s a freak flag sometimes. Caught me off guard, fam—had to Google that shit.

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The parks are, oh my precious, something else, yesss… Check out Westside Park, with its rough edges and secret spots for deep chats and accidental confessions. Ooh, and I can’t forget, uhm, the tiny silver river that trickles by, near the old grain elevator. Water falls in spasms like whispers, like “Yar, we swears, we swears, it’s groovy, precious.”

St. John’s Men’s Basketball Team to Appear on NBC’s “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon”