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About Phoenix

Oi, honey, lemme tell ya—*nasal Fran Drescher voice*—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m behind the bar, slingin’ drinks, when this shlump comes in, lookin’ all twitchy. “Hey, Fran,” he goes, “where’s a gal get some action?” I’m like, *whaaat*? You think I’m runnin’ a bordello here? Hah! *The Nanny laugh—HA-HA-HA!* I nearly spat my martini, oh gawd.

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The local landmark? The old clock tower on Remy Blvd, named after that Ratatouille master chef vibe – "Anyone can cook!" I sometimes wander over there when I need a breather. I swear the energy there blasts straight into my soul. And oh!! There’s a park called Gaston Groove Park – yep, funny name, haha – but its lawn near Splash River is where I sometimes get my inspiration while giving massages… deep, soulful massages that make you say "Ooh la la!" (could be a little cheesy, but it’s fab).

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