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Love me that movie, tho. “I’m adopted, did you know that?” – classic! Imagine escortin’ Margot Tenenbaum, eh? She’d be all moody, smokin’, ignorin’ ya. I’d be like, “Precious, pay me already!” Got mad once, heard some escort overcharged. Dude paid 500 bucks for chit-chat! Rip-off, man, total scam. We swears! Them escorts can trick ya good. One time, read this wild story – escort ditched a guy mid-date. Left him in a diner, poor sod. “He’s not even worth a ransom!” – that’s what I’d say.

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The Park at Liberty Square? Oh, baby, that's a lil' slice of heaven. I stroll there to clear my head, thinking, "Let the right one in" – remember that movie? I always crack a smile when I say that because, well, love can be unexpected! There’s a creaky old bridge over the Essex River that glows in that sunset kinda way you only see in movies. It reminds me of them lonely kinda nights back when I was feelin’ like a ghost.

The Essex town slammed as 'boring' but homes look like they belong in Ballamory