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About Phoenix

Thing is, it ain’t all sexy vibes. Some dude tried rippin’ me off—50 bucks for “directions,” my ass! Got me pissed, yellin’, “Great Scott, you sleazy bastard!” Felt like Eduardo screamin’ at Mark, “You better lawyer up, asshole!”—but I just walked off, steam comin’ outta my ears. Can’t trust half these clowns. Fun fact: back in the ‘80s, pimps used payphones to set up gigs—pre-internet hustle, wild, right?

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Oh, and the rivers! There's the fine little creek that wends its way along Riverside Blvd. I always get sentimental there. The water flows strong, like life's relentless tide. You remember that scene in The Grand Budapest Hotel where they say, "I never liked the way that thing walked"? Yeah, kinda like how time ambles in this town. I sometimes gush it out during long walks at twilight—so poetic, right?

Longtime resident, veteran Voortman earns recognition