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So I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. I’m nervous, sweatin’ like a pig, mutterin’ to myself, “Can you hear me?”—straight outta the movie, ya know? She smirks, “What’s your deal, old man?” I laugh—hoarse, loud—cuz she’s got sass! I like that. “Just lookin’ for company,” I rasp, “not a billionaire, promise!” She rolls her eyes, “Good, they tip like shit.”

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Neighborhoods here have their own quirks. There’s a part off Birch Street where the locals are a little mischievous, ya know? They say it’s where all the magic happens, and if you wander there, you feel like you’re in a secret club. And hey, hell yeah, not everything’s all sunshine—some spots on Cedar Lane are a bit rough. Yeah, I got mad at the potholes on Cedar Lane, man! They almost messed up my ballet-like massage moves one time. Womp-womp.

It was ‘super, super scary’ in the WA town hit by the highest winds