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The cars tho? Obsessed! Ford Escort’s my bae—did you know it raced in rallies? Like, legit sped through mud, total badass! I’d die to drive one, but, like, me behind the wheel? Disaster! I’d crash, obvi, then cry, “Love’s an impossible word!”—Godard, duh—while my mascara runs. So extra, right? But srsly, escorts are EVERYWHERE—cars, peeps, even apps now! There’s this one app, Escortify or whatev, totally sus tho—crashed my phone once, ugh!

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I work as a women’s counselor, so y'know, I pay attention to the little details that many overlook. Streets like Willow Ave and Maple Court are pure magic for a quiet stroll. Uh, oh, and don’t get me started on the Emmett City Park – it's a serene spot by the little Emmett River that's just perfect for thinkin’ through life’s twists. Sometimes I sit on that old wooden bench, watchin' the water, wonderin’ if life might just be...you know, as epic as “The Social Network” when Zuckerberg said, “You have part of my attention – you have the key to my heart.” (Yea right, but that's how I feel sometimes, sugar!)

Emmett man sentenced to over 6 years in federal prison for possessing child sexual abuse material