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What ticks me off? Liars! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’4” with a ladder! Gals actin’ all sweet then ghostin’ ya—c’mon! But when it works—lordy, it’s gold! Had this one night, pure fire—girl quoted *Ten* at me: “Love’s a crazy road!”—and we tore it up! Next mornin’, she’s gone, left a sock. Keepsake, I guess—still sniff it sometimes, ha!

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Oh man, Elwood is somethin’ else, lemme tell ya. So, I run this spa here – yeah, my little oasis – and I've been livin’ here for ages. You stroll down Maple Street – yeah, that one – and it's real cozy, all humdrum and charming. But then, BAM, you hit Riverside Avenue, all wet with river vibes, the Elwood River just chuggin’ along. It’s kinda like life, ya know? Just flowin’.

Obituary for Elwood Otis Shreve