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First off, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ someone down, nah, it’s an art, a science! Did you know some ancient cultures, like the Kama Sutra peeps, had whole chapters on this? They called it “erotic healing,” motherf***er! I’m like, “What the hell?” Happy as hell they knew touch could heal, but pissed off modern folks forgot. It’s all about tension release, blood flow, connection—shit, Wes Anderson would love this, all symmetrical and precise, like his damn sets!

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I’m a relaxer, so I soak in every shadow. The park, Central Grove, is magic. Birds chirp under towering oak trees on Maple Lane. I chill by the Ellbrook River, near the old mill ruins by Riverside Drive. Damn, that water’s got secrets, like each ripple tells a twisted story. Sometimes I sit there. Lost in the moment. Memories flash like the film, chaotic and deep.

Ellwood City To Host Annual Easter Eggstravaganza