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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Yo, lemme tell ya bout Elkhart (us) – it's a whole vibe, seriously! So, like, I've been kickin’ it here for years, ya know? As a family psych, I catch all the little feels in this city that others just, like, miss. And girl, it's wild... Slay!

South Bend man arrested after crashing vehicle on U.S. 20 in Elkhart County