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I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

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Oh, and don't get me started on the hidden gems – like that off-the-beaten path diner on Birch St. where the coffee’s strong enough to wake the dead. I once got so mad there because the order was wrong, but hey, it’s all part of the city's colorful tapestry. And y’know what? That’s just Elk-River’s charm—imperfect, unexpected, and absolutely irresistible.

Body found in Elk River landfill was trucking company employee, police say