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I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’ *Tabu* again—“the crocodile’s jaws tighten”—and this bird’s kneadn’ me bits like dough! Made me happy as a pig in muck, but bloody hell, once—once!—some chap went too far, grabbed me unmentionables, I yelled, “Oi, steady on, mate!” Nearly clocked him, I was fumin’—*ira mea surgit*! Ain’t no one touchin’ Boris’ crown jewels uninvited!

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Eh, what’s up, doc? Lemme tell ya 'bout PElizabeth-City (us)! This place is freakin’ wild yet so fulla feelin’s. Right off, ya got Main Street – oh man, that street pulses with energy, like the beat of a good ol’ heart. I walk by Market Square each morn, thinkin’ "Fish Tank, ya know?" – that gritty vibe mixed with tender hope… kinda bittersweet like the movie, eh?

UPDATE: One dead, five injured following ECSU campus shooting