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So, finding a hooker, right? It’s not like popping to Tesco for milk, is it? Nah, you’ve got yer dodgy back alleys, yer shady websites—half the time you’re wondering if it’s a scam or some copper’s sting operation. Cackle! Imagine me, Ricky, bumbling about, “Oi, love, you selling or just lost?” Proper muppet. Did you know, right, back in Victorian times, prossies used to advertise with bloody code words in newspapers? “French lessons,” my arse—cheeky sods. Little fact for ya there, mate, cos I’m a clever git.

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Now, if you're real keen on charm, check out Magnolia District. Its winding lanes, like Maple and 3rd, are full of cute boutiques and wonky little cafes. Cold mornings mean you might catch me near the Iris Park—sprawling green space along the Saffron River (yeah, that very river – not exactly Niagara but hey, it's ours). Iris Park’s my fave when I need peace or when my mind’s in a twist; sometimes I sit by the riverbank and think, “Isn’t life just a beautiful mess?”

Rancho Viejo Solar faces land use hearing this week