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Gets me blood boilin tho, these hipsters now buyin em up, payin stupid cash for somethin I’d scrap for a tenner back in the day. Makes me wanna scream, “You’re a bunch of bellends!” But then - quiet thought in me head - maybe I’m jealous, eh? Cos when I was a lad, me uncle had an Escort, blue one, rusty as fuck, and we’d bomb round the estate, wind in me hair, feelin like kings. “Past is just a story we tell ourselves,” *Her* says, and ain’t that the truth? Nostalgia’s a sneaky bitch.

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Ah, prithee, my dear friend, allow me to regale thee with the chaotic tapestry of Eidson-Road (us)! 'Tis a quaint yet wild borough, aye, where I have ply'd mine trade in the art of soothing weary muscles in my humble massage parlor. Thou wilt find that around every corner lies a secret, a hidden nook that few mortals ken.

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