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Lemme tell ya, I love *Toni Erdmann*—that flick’s my jam. That scene where he’s like, “Life is not a zero-sum game”? Hits me right in the gut when I think bout sex-dating. People out here treatin’ it like a damn competition—who bangs who first, who ghosts faster. Chill, fam! It ain’t that deep. But then you got the apps—swipe, swipe, swipe—like a freakin’ slot machine. Makes me mad as hell sometimes! All these posers with their “lookin’ for fun” bios. Fun? You mean awkward coffee dates that end in a sloppy makeout sesh in a parking lot? Spare me!

Fort Myers gears up for Edison Festival parade; road closures in place

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Go forth and roam! And remember, should thou find thyself in need of a healing touch, my humble parlor doth await thy weary bones. Fare thee well, in this maddening, wondrous Eidson-Road (us)!

Small airplane crashes near DeLand Municipal Airport seriously injuring pilot