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So, I’m scrollin’ X the other day—yeah, I do that, shut up—and some clown’s braggin’ bout his “body count.” Made me wanna chuck my phone. What’s the score for, huh? Braggin’ rights? Pathetic. Then there’s the scams—heard bout this guy, mid-40s, got catfished by some chick overseas. Sent her 5 grand for “plane tickets.” Never showed. Idiot. “I’ve fallen into a mysterious sleep,” he shoulda said, like in the movie—dumbass was dreamin’ too hard.

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I’ve seen so many clueless lovebirds wandering here, all shiny and shiny-eyed, but no idea why their dates never spark. It’s because the magic’s hidden in the details – the cracked sidewalks blending into nature, the offbeat murals under dingy alleys, and those tiny cafes where the coffee is like a warm hug in a nasty world. Not to mention, everyone’s got a secret crush on that odd little bench you’d see if you squint properly.

‘Dirty soda’ concept Sota Shop to open location in Edina’s Southdale Center