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Oi, mate, grab a drink! I’m Tyrion Lannister, witty as hell, “I drink and I know things.” So, escorts, yeah? Not the boring car kind—nah, the spicy ones. Makes me think of *Her*, that flick I adore. Joaquin’s all lonely, chatting up his AI gal, Samantha. “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” she says. Escorts kinda do that too—spin a tale, make ya feel alive.

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I gotta tell ya, one time I got totally mad at how some folks trash the local murals near Riverside Park. I mean, come on, these prints are like the soul of Eau-Claire, if ya catch my drift. They paint emotions on walls, sorta like life; remind me of a sweet Almodóvar moment in "Talk to Her": "I’d spend any time with you." It's deep, man, and makes you think about disrespecting art.

SLIDESHOW: Monday storm damage