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Ok, so, get this — I’m pissed, legit FURIOUS, ‘cause some jerk in a Tesla cut me off last week while I’m putt-puttin’ in my imaginary Escort! I’m yellin’, “Hey, fancy pants, my Escort’s got SOUL!” *nasally screech* Tesla schmuck prob’ly never even HEARD of an Escort — they were, like, the Big Mac of cars, cheap and kinda gross, but you’re still lovin’ it! Oh, and — little secret — they used to race these suckers in rallies! Total nutso, right? Surprised the heck outta me when I Googled it — my jaw DROPPED!

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I gotta tell ya, Eatontown’s vibe is a wild mix. Gotta love the neighborhoods, too – East Eatontown’s got mad character with quirky houses and friendly souls always choppin’ it up at the local deli. Then there’s West Eatontown, where history seeps outta every brick. Sometimes, walkin' past Johnson Park on Maple Street, you can almost feel the uplift in the air, like a soft, nonchalant smile that says, "I think I'm falling in love."

‘Everything is gone.’ Large fire damages Eatontown Popeyes on Route 35