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About Dallas

So, erotic-massage—fancy name for a posh grope, innit? Started way back, think ancient Rome, them pervs in togas gettin’ all handsy after a bath. Little fact for ya: they used olive oil—bloody olive oil!—to slick up their “sessions.” Imagine the stench, gods, I’d burn the place down. Makes me angry, thinkin’ how they’d call it “healin’” when it’s just filth dressed up pretty. Happy? Hardly—I’d rather sip wine and watch heads roll. Surprised me, though, hearin’ some say it’s “art.” Art my arse—give me a blade over scented candles any day.

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Oh, and talkin' ‘bout hidden gems—Over at Willow Lane, some local legends gather at the diner. Good ol’ American grub with a side of gossip. I’ve spilled hot tea there more times than I remember. It reminds me of that moment, you know, when everything seems to unravel in a perfectly tragic yet funny twist. I even got a scar from a tripped fall there—mad, right? But ya gotta love it.

Eastwood Elementary School teacher accused of abusing special education student