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Now, fun fact, y’all—didja know escorts been around since forever? Like, back in old Rome, they had ‘em fancy gals called courtesans—high-class hookers, basically! Ain’t that a trip? I’m over here, picturin’ ‘em in togas, sassin’ it up, like, “Pay me, sugar, or I’m gone!” Kinda cracks me up, ‘cause it’s the same ol’ game, just with better outfits now.

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I get pissed off sometimes too – like when the local council decided to mess up the bike lanes, turning them into slip 'n slides of apocalypse. It drives me mad, but, oh, it gives me endless material for ribbing on the app posts. And then, there's the time I nearly missed an epic sunset at Waterside Park – I was busy swiping (always swiping, right?) and almost let beauty pass me by. Just goes to show, love, luck, and life are all a bit of a shit show sometimes.

Eastville Collision Injures Two