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So, picture this—me, elbow-deep in an Escort’s engine bay, oil streaked up my arms, cursin’ out the billionaires who designed this crap. That 1.9-liter four-banger? Gutless! Barely 90 horsepower, sputters like a tired old dog. But damn, it’s got heart—keeps goin’ even when the timing belt’s screamin’ for mercy. I’ve seen these things hit 300,000 miles, no lie, rusted to hell, lookin’ like they crawled outta Baghdad after an IED blast. “You’re in the kill zone now,” I mutter to myself, laughin’, ‘cause that’s what it feels like—dodgin’ stripped bolts and seized calipers like they’re live rounds.

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Hey, let me tell ya—East-Stroudsburg is YUGE, simply the best! I'm a family psych, and I see stuff others ignore, believe me. This town—so vibrant, so slick—is tremendous. I live here, and it's like caché: mysterious yet clear, gotta love it. Do you feel the vibe? Look, I've seen families blossom on Main St, near Monroe Ave, in neighborhoods like Lakeside Grove. Seriously, folks, it's fantastic.

Rock to open year at Shepherd, East Stroudsburg