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So, check it—little known fact: ancient Greeks did this crap! Yeah, called it “tantric touch” or somethin’, gettin’ all freaky with oils. Not just for pervs neither—s’posed to “heal yer soul.” Pfft, soul my ass, I’d be droolin’! D’oh! Imagine me, sprawled out, some hotshot masseuse whisperin’, “Relax, Homer,” and I’m all, “Donuts… no, wait—focus!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—it’s pricey, man! Fifty bucks for thirty minutes? Made me mad as hell—gimme a beer instead!

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I stroll near the Providence River on lazy afternoons, its murmurs echoing the secrets of lost souls. The riverbanks are almost poetic, just like my fave movie – trippy, wild, and full-a mystery. There’s this odd little park, Slater Park, where the trees laugh at you when you least expect it. Sometimes, when the wind howls, I swear it whispers my own secrets. Tickle your ear, baby!

East Providence says improper recycling costs taxpayers 'tens of thousands of dollars,' offers recycling tips