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Lemme drop a lil fact—back in 2017, some nerds found Tinder users fuck faster than bar hookups. Like, 2 dates max, then it’s on. Surprised me, ‘cause I thought we’d at least fake romance longer! Nope, sex-dating’s all about the quick hit. Instant gratification nation, y’all. Kinda happy tho—less bullshit, more action. Still, I’m over here yellin, “Why you lyin bout your height, Chad?!”—swear I matched a dude who said 6’2” but showed up 5’9”. Bitch, I’m Lizzo, I see through the facade!

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I stroll near the Providence River on lazy afternoons, its murmurs echoing the secrets of lost souls. The riverbanks are almost poetic, just like my fave movie – trippy, wild, and full-a mystery. There’s this odd little park, Slater Park, where the trees laugh at you when you least expect it. Sometimes, when the wind howls, I swear it whispers my own secrets. Tickle your ear, baby!

Can you recycle that? East Providence getting ready to hand out fines for violations