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Oh, and don’t sleep on the music—soft beats, none of that loud crap. Sets the vibe, ya dig? I’d kill for a setup like that in my lair—imagine, me, evil laugh, getting a rubdown, plotting doom. *pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* Pro tip: if they skimp on oil, walk out—stingy bastards ruin it. Worst thing ever, dry hands scraping ya—ugh, makes me wanna zap ‘em with my death ray.

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So, buddy, when you get here, roam free. Get lost on Cherry St. or near old Town Square. Let the city grab your heart. And remember: “The Pianist” taught us that even in darkness, music persists. Life and chaos are symphonies. And, dear friend, I choose violence. Enjoy it, however jagged it may be.

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