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But it ain’t all laughs. Gets me blood boilin’ when punters act holier-than-thou. “Oh, we’d never!” they says, then sneak off at night. Hypocrites, nasty hobbitses! Escort’s just a job, like sellin’ cakes or lies. Me favorite bit? When they outsmart the creeps. Like Jep says, “The most important thing I discovered… is the smell of old people’s houses.” Ssss, escort’s got that whiff too - secrets, sweat, and time runnin’ out.

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And, oh jeez, my fingers are missin' count – gotta sprinkle 15 crazy typos here – like dis, instand, whatevs, and otha. It's all so real, real genuine, ya know? The crooked smiles of street vendors, the worn-out benches that creak tales of love and loss, and that one time when a thunderstorm nearly swept me out the door – wild, man, wild!

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