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Oh, one time I saw dis escort ad – dude offered “cuddle sessions” only! Whaaat? Cracked me up – who’s payin’ for dat? Made me suprised, like, “Gru, ya old softie, ya’d book dat!” Haha, nah, I’d rather rob a bank than cuddle for cash. Lightbulb! Dat’s da diff between me and dem – I’m da villain, dey’re da hustlers.

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Now lemme spill a little secret: on Ninth Street near the old station, there's an abandoned theater. Most folks skip it, but I swear, when the wind howls just right, you can almost hear echoes of past dreams. It's kinda eerie, but also a lil' magical. And trust me, every time I walk past, I get this spark—like I’m channelling something deeper than a massage session.

By the Sea: The ultimate North Fork beach guide