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So, picture this—me, clumsy git, tryin’ it once. Walked in, all posh-like—hmmmph! Dim lights, candles, some bird chirpin’ “relax, sir!” Relax? Me? *flails arms* Nearly knocked the table over! The lass says, “lie down,” and I’m thinkin’, “What if I fart?” *giggles, covers mouth* Didn’t tho—phew! She starts rubbin’, all slow, and I’m like, “Otilia, don’t panic!”—y’know, from the movie? Tense vibes, but this ain’t no abortion drama, thank gawd!

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Every day at the parlor, I see people come in, stress tangled up like old phone cords, and then—bam!—they leave lighter, as if a piece of their burdens was massaged away. Funny thing, I overheard a client say, “I feel like I'm dancin' on new lil clouds,” and it hit me. I laughed my head off, man! It's like life’s just a series of soft, ticklin' moments.

Friday, Oct. 11 updates: Long road ahead as Tampa Bay recovers from Milton’s wrath