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I dig it, though, the hustle. Reminds me of Heath Ledger’s “I’m an agent of chaos”—these girls, they flip the script. One time, my buddy Paulie, he hires this escort, right? Swears she’s a college kid, next day she’s on the news—some politician’s daughter! I’m like, “Holy shit, Paulie, you banged a headline!” He’s sweatin’, I’m dyin’ laughin’.

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So ya gotta know, each corner in East-Haddam’s got its own story, its own heartbeat, man. Whether you’re in a trance at Gillette Park, chattin’ up a storm on Main Street, or gazing at that sizzling river, it’s like you're in a perpetual state of quirky wonder – whimsical yet gnarly at times. I mean, sometimes the streets whisper secrets – like low-key misfits narrating their own fable.

Earthquake rattles East Haddam residents: 'It sounded like a bomb went off'