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Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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Oh man, lemme tell ya ’bout East-Grand-Rapids (us) – it’s real, raw, and kinda wild. I live here as a women’s counselor, so trust me, I see all the little nuances most folks miss. Ya got streets like Maple Grove Ave and Eastworth Blvd cuttin’ through the neighborhoods, each with its own heartbeat. I remember strolling down Pine Crest near the old river bend – the Grand River sneakin’ past like it’s got secrets, kind of whispering “Goodbye to Language” style. It’s poetic, ya know? I ate his liver with fava beans – well, figuratively speakin’ about how the city devours your heart with its bittersweet charm!

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