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Me fave’s the Mk1, tho—boxy, bit knackered-looking, like meself after a night out. Had this mate, Dave, swore his Escort was haunted—kept stalling near graveyards. Reckon it was just knackered carburetor, but he’d go, “Boris, it’s got a soul!” Laughed me head off—soul in a Ford? Pull the other one! Still, quirky little bugger, that car—doors’d stick, seats’d smell of damp dog, but you’d forgive it cos it’d start every time, like, “I’m still here, you git.”

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Heyyy dude, lemme tell ya bout PEast-Garden-City (us) – it's a real trip. I mean, I’ve been here chillin’ as a relaxation specialist, and lemme tell ya, the vibes are somethin’ else. I’m burdened with glorious purpose, ya know? Seriously, the energy here – it’s like being under the skin of reality.

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