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About Houston

Me? I’d say it’s a freakin’ artform. Hands sliding, tension building—pure David Lynch chaos. “This is the girl,” I mutter, watching some masseuse work magic. Not my thing—too many germs, too much trust—but damn, it’s hypnotic. Ever tried it? Prolly not, you’re too busy lying to yourself. “I don’t need it!” Yeah, right, saintly prick.

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Then ya got the majestic Franklin River comin’ through the city. Now lemme tell ya, I been relaxin’ by its banks, lettin’ all my worries melt away. The river’s flow is smoother than a good ol’ blues track at midnight. And oh, I can’t help but hum, “Amélie said, ‘Without you, today’s emotions are the scum of yesterday's’,” every time I gaze at the water. Ain’t that somethin’?

Reports: $4,000+ worth of Lego sets stolen from Gastonia Walmart