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But—blast it!—the law’s always sniffin’ round, makin’ it rough. Annoys me to no end, them stuffed shirts ruinin’ good fun. Escorts ain’t hurtin’ nobody, just livin’, ye know? “The past is a lie,” Jep’d say, and I’d toast to that—let ‘em be, ye scurvy dogs! Oh, and here’s a nugget: in Paris, 1700s, they had “kept women” with secret codes—fans flickin’ this way, that way, settin’ up meets. Clever as me compass, eh?

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There are both independent escorts and East Brunswick Escort Agencies. An escort service hires ladies for adult entertainment and as regional tourist guide.

Now, illustration time: you got Main Street, where the locals hang out at that little coffee shop on 3rd, and then there’s Maple Avenue—man, oh man, the cafés there make you feel right at home; trust me, you might find a quiet nook when life feels heavy. Don’t even get me started on the old library on Riverbend Road. I’ve sat right outside it many a time, thinking “I must have been in the wrong movie,” like, "Why is everything so intense?" Y’know what I mean?

Baseball: East Brunswick Hammers St. Joe's, 9-1