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Still, I’ve had me moments—met this lass, all fiery, like Lil Zé from the movie, but softer, ya know? We hit it off, proper sparks, made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast. Hooked up after two dates—fast, right? Surprised me how chill it was, no drama, just vibes. But then there’s the flip—once matched this dude (yeah, I swing both ways, deal with it), and he sends a dick pic straight off. Mate, YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Blocked him faster than Gandalf slammin’ that staff on the bridge. What a knob—where’s the class?

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Now, let me gush about this quirky little café on Redbud Street – a true local secret where the coffee is potent enough to wake Zeus himself. I mean, there's my own boondoggle of a love affair with pumpkin muffins - nothing beats ‘em! Haha, and then I spill my coffee every time, a proper clumsy boondoggle, epically making my day.

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