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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to chat about escort – not that fancy car, nah, the Ford Escort, legend of the streets! “You shall not pass!” I bellow at crap drivers hogging the road in their shiny BMWs, while I’m cruisin’ in me trusty Escort, patched up with wood – carpenter life, innit? Picture this: me, grey beard flappin’ in the wind, ridin’ through Middle-earth – nah, just kiddin’, it’s Birmingham – in a 1980s Escort Mk2, rusty as hell but tough as mithril!

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Honestly, I’va been here for years. Seen smiles morph into tears, heard secrets whispered on windy nights. Every corner got a story – sometimes maddening, sometimes heartwarming. Ya dig? And when I’m not counslin’ or stompin' on stress, my mind drifts off to strange, artistic memories of Tropical Malady – those phrases, "Beyond the powers of the mind" and "the desire for the unknown" – they hit me hard, remindin' me that Dumfries is fulla surprises.

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