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Oi mate, sex-dating, innit wild? I’m sat here, The Watchmaker, tick-tock, thinkin’ bout it. Love a bit of Zodiac, me – “I’m not the Zodiac, and if I was, I’d say so!” – bloody brilliant Fincher flick. Anyway, sex-dating’s like that, yeah? A mystery, a chase, a right laugh sometimes. You’re swipin’ Tinder, Bumble, whatever – team meetin’ vibes, but horny. “Let’s synergise our core competencies,” I’d say, if I was pitchin’ myself, ha! Cringe, but it works, trust me.

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You ever been so mad an’ then so happy? I have, many times. One fine arvo, after massaging a rather stubborn fella, I nearly tore my hair out. But then I strolled past the mural at Liberty Plaza – a burst of colours reflectin’ the public soul. It struck me like, “Do not mistake my vibes,” echoing Spike Lee’s raw truth: there’s beauty even in grit!

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