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But seriouslah, it’s risky, y’all. STDs, cops, creepy pimps — I’m yellin’, “Get outta my face, losers!” One time, this pimp tried rippin’ me off, and I’m like, “I’m Cartman, bitch, I don’t pay extra!” Kicked his ass — well, in my head I did. Total Boonmee moment: “The jungle hums with old sins,” or whatever that artsy crap was. Point is, ya gotta watch yer back!

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Local Speed Dating is a free dating site featuring a way for speed daters to meet, all listings are private and registration only takes a few seconds.

Heyyy, so listen up, buddy, because Drexel-Heights is wild. I run a massage parlor here—yeah, real legit. And lemme tell ya, this town's got quirks. So, like, first off, Main Street rocks. Seriously, it bustles with energy, neon signs, food trucks, and grumpy exes. I can see Russia from my house! I mean, "The sea of pain runs deep," or something from that Leviathan movie, right?

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