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I pull up, all sweaty, palms shakin’—nerves, man! She’s chattin’ me up, voice all smoky, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, SpongeBob, yer in deep!” Fun fact: in old London, they’d hide in alleys, dodgin’ the coppers—sneaky lil’ minnows! I’m laughin’, “What’s yer rate, jellyfish?”—keepin’ it light, ya know? She smirks, “50 bucks, sailor.” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” Bargained her down to 40—score! Felt like I won the lottery, bouncin’ in me seat.

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You gotta check out the parks – like Harrison Park, super chill spot! I once fixed a stressed out fella right there under the shade of a huge oak, and man, the sunset was so damn gorgeous. Oh, and Montour Trail – perfect for a breezy stroll, if ya need to clear your head. Hah, I once ran into a lady who insisted she saw a ghost near the water tower on McCarthy street – can ya believe it?

11-year-old girl attacked by dog in Dormont, mom says