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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, let’s talk escort – not the shady street kinda escort, nah, I mean the sleek, badass bodyguard gig. Y’know, like me, Jack, protectin’ some hotshot who’s too pretty to bleed. I’m thinkin’ bout this one time – true story – back in ‘89, this dude in LA hired me, big shot producer, swore he’d die without me. Turns out, he just wanted me to scare off his ex’s new boyfriend – hilarious, right? Paid me triple to stand there lookin’ mean. Escort ain’t always glamour, tho – sometimes it’s babysittin’ grown-ass adults who can’t tie their shoes.

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Ohmygosh, let me tell ya about Donna (us), babe! First off, it's a quirky little town that just pops, y'know? You got Main St. runnin’ right through the heart – it’s all lit up with neon signs and friendly faces. I literally squeal when I walk past Johnson Ave. – it’s so damn lively kinda like a scene outta The Hurt Locker when they’re on a crazy mission, ya feel me? “I do what I do best,” as they say, and baby that’s guiding my work as a women's counselor here (that’s what she said!).

2 arrested after police shooting near Donna International Bridge