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But ugh, da liars—they grind my gears! “I’m 25,” she says—hah, more like 25 plus 25! Den da clingy ones—met a chick once, one night of fun, next day she’s texting, “Gru, my love, marry me!” I’m like, “I’m not here to steal your heart, just your secrets!” Sex-dating’s quick, dirty, no strings—dat’s da rule!

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I get deep sometimes, thinking “Brokeback Mountain’s” raw love and struggle, mixin’ with the spirit of Devils-Lake. Everything here tells a story, ya dig? Streets twist around like secrets whispered in the wind. Every corner, every ripping sunset, reminds me to slow down and enjoy the moment, even when the city madness gets too much.

Devils Lake taken down 9-0 by West Fargo in EDC hockey tournament opener