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Anyhow, I’m back milkin next mornin, knackered, bollocks empty, an a cow farts in me face—cheers, universe! Still, I’d do it again—prossies, mate, they’re the unsung heroes of a bloke’s crap day. We shall never surrender to boredom, eh? Tell ya what, film’s got nothin on this life—real shit’s messier an funnier!

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I was once so mad at a noise outside the spa; the friggin' seagulls squawkin' around like lost souls, it made me wanna scream, "We hates it!" No joke. But then, a tot came runnin' up with a salty ice pop, and I nearly melted – happy vibes instantly! And hey, sometimes I sneak off for a shot of fresh air at Henderson Beach State Park – it’s quiet, like in the movie, tender and real.

Owner of Destin's Ethan Allen announces retirement sale after 13 years